Teens in Teeny Bikinis:Miley Cyrus

Father’s everywhere are taking more interest in their pre-teen daughters lives thanks to teen superstars like Miley Cyrus. Now that Hannah Montana is “not a girl, not yet a woman”, they’re gladly getting their hands on front row tickets to her show, in the hopes that “tickets” won’t be the only thing they’ll get their hands on. Just be sure you do this before proud papa Billy Ray gets his hands on your neck for looking at these pics of his daughter on vacay in Mexico in an itty bitty red polka dot bikini.

J-Wookie battle of the bods on the Jersey Shore

Jersey Shore stars Snookie and J-Woww, one known for her large “pouf” the other for her large “pouch” (see entry#3 of the Urban Dictionary), were out flaunting what their mamma’s gave em’ in Miami Beach on Thursday…and their mamma’s definitely didn’t skimp on the ”giving”.

J-Woww stuffed her puppies into a pink lace-trim 2-piece, while Snookie’s cut-out one piece makes me think of a leopard-print hotdog. But you know what they say: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder….and in this case the beholder is a famous guy by the name of Oscar Meyer.

Heidi Montag eats a burger with a side of sanity

According to TMZ, The Hills star has finally come to her senses and is thinking about leaving her hubby and co-star Spencer “Harry & The Hendersons” Pratt.

Montag’s representative tells TMZ that Heidi is “tired” of “all the fake bad press that Spencer controls.” She plans to focus on her acting career.

Heidi already admitted to having no friends earlier this week on Twitter, and decided to one up herself and get rid of her looney husband too. Its a shame her agent didn’t get her a role in Hot Tub Time Machine,  so she could travel back to the time where neither her boobs nor her brains were so full of air.

Fox dropped from Transformers 3, replaced by (prepare to be shocked) another fox!

That’s right, Director Michael Bay sure knows how to pick em’! Does anyone care that the new female lead for the third installment of the Transformers series has no acting experience whatsoever?…That is, unless you count being one of the sexy almost naked models at a Victoria’s Secret fashion show and “acting sexy whilst almost naked”, as acting.

Am I the only one that stopped reading (and started drooling) once I got to the “…almost naked models at a Victoria’s Secret fashion show…”?

For the sake of journalism I will include her name: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Now let’s go back to drooling, and patiently awaiting the release of this movie sometime next year.

2 brains are better than 1, 4 boobs are better than 2

Lindsay Lohan has a new lesbi-friend and this time we actually WANT to see them make-out! Move over Sam, Lindsay’s new flame will make you say “DAMN!”.

After having worked together on a photoshoot last fall, 36-year-old photographer Indrani and LiLo have reportedly been spending lots of time together (probably hanging around in their underwear having pillow fights and doing each others hair) accoring to Indrani’s recent statements:

“We have been spending a lot of time together. I have never had a relationship with a woman before, but Lindsay is just somebody who I find fascinating, gorgeous and extremely smart, as well as super-hot.
“Lindsay gets a lot of bad press, but she’s a really strong, creative woman and is trying really hard to get her life in a good, positive place.”

All we ask is that if this relationship will be as drama-filled as the last, the least they can do is try to incorporate more mud and less clothing in their fights.

Courtney Love eats Moss (she thought she was eating bush)

According to Courtney Love, she and Kate Moss engaged in a game of ‘tag’ which ended up in intercourse…now don’t you wish that was the kind of tag you played at recess?! And even though Kate and Courtney were playing indoors, I bet there was lots of snow.

Courtney told Irish magazine Hot Press:

“It was just a thing that happened in Milan in the Nineties. It happened and it was fun and whatever. And she talks about it and so I hope she doesn’t get mad that I outed her about it. I feel like such a kiss and tell. Kate’s great, though! Kate’s a good friend of mine. I almost bought her house in St John’s Wood, London.”

The article goes on with Courtney claiming that she was “fuck buddies” with Gavin Rossdale during the first 8 months of his relationship with Gwen Stefani. Love also dishes about how being ugly made her better at sex and divulging that she has a powerful vagina. Look out IronMan, you have yet to battle the forces of the “Powerful P*ssy”.

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